College male seeks more heat in relationship

Dear downstairs neighbors of University Heights Apt 60,

I just wanted to drop you a note to thank you for running your heat earlier this year during the cold snap before Winter Break. Dave and I very much appreciated your generous donation of your unused BTUs.

That said, I think our relationship has been moving in a new direction lately, and I’m not comfortable with it. In fact, it’s been getting downright chilly. Frigid, even. I greatly fear for our continued friendship if you are not prepared to turn up the heat in our relationship a little bit. And I think you know what I mean by “turn up the heat.”

Now. I’m freezing.

Always Yours,

P.S. – Sorry about the noise. Nate bought a new subwoofer, and it’s fun 😀